Pro Tip: Mastering Disagreements with IMAGO

By now, we all understand that disagreements are a natural part of human interactions, but they don't have to be destructive. Instead of engaging in heated, free-for-all debates that often lead nowhere, consider using a version of the IMAGO conversation process. This approach ensures that everyone's opinions are heard and understood fully. Let's dive into the steps of an IMAGO conversation to effectively navigate disagreements.

Step 1: Set the Stage
Start by acknowledging that a disagreement exists and that a resolution is desired. Gather all involved parties and establish ground rules: respect, active listening, and the commitment to follow the IMAGO conversation process.

Step 2: Person A - Express Your Opinion
The first person, Person A, gets up to five minutes (could be more) to state their opinions and feelings, and present their case. They might be answering the question: "What would you decide at this point if it was up to you, and why?" or “What is your view of this disagreement and how should it be resolved?” During this phase, the other participant listens without interruptions or questions.

Step 3: Paraphrasing
Once Person A finishes, the other participant, Person B, paraphrases what they understood from the speaker's perspective. This step ensures that the speaker's position is accurately comprehended. At this point, Person A is just listening to Person B’s paraphrase – no interruptions or corrections at this point.

Step 4: Confirmation and Corrections
Person A now has the opportunity to confirm the accuracy of the paraphrasing or make corrections. This clarifies any potential misunderstandings and ensures everyone is on the same page.

Step 5: Questioning
Once Person A and Person B both feel confident that they are on the same page with what Person A intended to communicate, Person B can now ask questions to gain a deeper understanding of Person A’s opinions, views, and feelings. These questions can be clarifying, probing for more information, or even adopting a devil's advocate stance. These should not be prosecutorial-type questions – it’s all about exploration and understanding deeper. There's no time limit for this phase.

Step 6: Rotate and Repeat
Now, Person A and Person B switch roles and repeat steps 2 through 5. This rotation ensures that all participants have the opportunity to express their opinions and have their positions understood.
 

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Utilizing the IMAGO conversation process during disagreements offers a structured and respectful way to ensure both parties are fully understood – which is a requirement for successful conflict resolution. By giving each person the chance to share their perspective without interruption and allowing for thorough questioning, you ensure that everyone is on the same page. This process not only fosters understanding but also helps individuals clarify their own thoughts and positions. Once the IMAGO conversation is complete, you can move forward to the next steps of the decision-making process with a foundation of mutual comprehension and respect. Remember, disagreements don't have to be destructive; they can be transformative opportunities for growth and understanding.