Why and How to Have One-on-One Meetings
Most of us recognize that being an effective manager is so much more than simply “air traffic controlling” the work product. As previously discussed here, excellent managing involves such things as maintaining your employees’ morale, building relationships based on trust and respect, listening so your employees feel heard, asking for feedback, and so much more. In short, the job of a manager is to help your people be the best they can be.
So then, on a practical level, how does a manager find the time to create these sorts of strong, healthy, trusting work relationships with their employees, let alone the time to listen, seek their opinions, offer praise and recognition, ask good questions, and otherwise be in their corner in the way that they need?
According to research, one of the strongest predictors of success for middle managers is that they held regular one-on-one meetings with the people who reported directly to them. But we don’t need research to recommend this. After 23 years of training managers and helping organizations become healthier, we have found that there’s not a more effective, broad-reaching, morale- and relationship-building practice than intentional, regular, scheduled one-on-one meetings with employees.
These aren’t your casual check-ins, or your task list reviews, or your open door policy drop-ins, either. Don’t stop doing those, of course. But these are something else entirely.
In our workshops we often ask this question: “What are the benefits of regularly scheduled one-on-one meetings versus the ‘come see me whenever you need me’ of the open-door policy?”
The responses we get:
Proactive versus reactive. What are the topics of “open-door policy” conversations? For the most part they are about problem-solving. Rarely are you going to say to your employee, just before she leaves your office, “Oh, by the way, what are some things you’d like to see more of or less of from me as your manager?” In a scheduled one-on-one meeting, though – the sky’s the limit. You can trouble-shoot before the problems become crises; you can debrief past events and learn from mistakes; you can deal with potential bumps in the road before they turn into mountains.
Face-time with everyone. Let’s face it – your “open-door policy” will be used very unevenly. Some people will not use it, even when they should, and others will be frequent flyers. One-on-one meetings even out the playing field and allow you to hear from those that don’t have as “loud” of a voice.
Relationship building. One-on-one meetings allow for dedicated time to dive into the kinds of things that don’t come up in every-day office talk. Trust and respect can be built and maintained as you meet for this monthly discussion. Further, this affords you an opportunity to truly get to know your employees: who they are, what they need from you, what motivates them, what their hopes are – which will make it much easier for you to be the kind of manager they truly need.
Who is pursuing whom? In open door policy, they’re seeking you. In one-on-one’s, you’re seeking them. That makes a difference.
If you’re not already practicing this, consider it. If you have fewer than eight or so direct reports, plan for a monthly time of 30 to 60 minutes. Get some coffee, find a comfortable place, and talk. Ask some good questions (see the“Pro Tip” below for suggestions), as well as ask them to bring what they want to discuss. Bring a notebook to write down important things that come up, don’t cancel because of busyness (make these a priority), practice your listening skills, give feedback occasionally – even corrective feedback, be fully present, and create a space for the two of you characterized by openness, curiosity and kindness.
If you have questions regarding running awesome one-on-one meetings, and/or if you'd like for us to send you a free resource on great questions to ask during one-on-one meetings with your employees, email us at contact@nashconsulting.com.
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PRO TIP: HOW DO I ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS?
I get it – you’re busy, you’re in too many meetings, your inbox is full, and it’s time for another one-on-one employee meeting, but your creativity well has dried up. Well, you’re in luck! Here, provided for you at no extra cost, is at least two years’ worth of monthly one-on-one questions!
But first, a few helpful hints:
Try to avoid asking questions that could elicit these three one-word answers: “yes,” “no,” and “fine.” So instead of “Is there anything you need from me?” try “What do you need from me?” Replace “How are things going between us and that other department?” with “What’s going well between us and the other department, and what’s not going so well?”
Build “permission for critique” right into the question. Instead of “How am I doing as a manager,” try “What would you like to see more of or less of from me as a manager?”
Consider pre-loading the deeper questions ahead of time. About half the population is considered “Processors.” These are folks who think to talk. The other half of us are called “Expedients” – people who talk to think. When you ask a Processor a question that requires a fair amount of thought (“What would you like to see more of or less of from me as your manager?”), they are going to have really important things to say…at about 9:00 that night. So consider letting people know what you will be asking them ahead of time, maybe through an email, or at your previous one-on-one, or even at a staff meeting – “Hey everyone, I’m going to be asking you for some feedback at our next round of one-on-one meetings – could you think about some things you’d like to see more of or less of from me as your manager?”
Ok – here we go – a list of one-on-one questions. Take the ones you like, edit/rephrase, try them out, and be creative – this is only a drop in the bucket of possibilities.
What do you like best about your job? What makes you happy about coming to work in the morning?
What do you like least about your job? What gives you that morning heartburn feeling?
What are you proud of at work over this past (year/month/quarter)? What have you accomplished?
What mistakes have you made this year, and what have you learned from them?
In what ways does this job align with your personal values? In what ways does it not?
What tasks/jobs/responsibilities would you like to eventually have on your plate?
What are the roadblocks you face at work? Which ones would you like help with? How specifically can I help?
What are you doing to improve your skills and expertise?
What training opportunities would you like to see made available to you?
What do you have to offer to other employees in terms of training, expertise, advice, etc.?
Are you interested in leading/managing? If so, what do you think it would take for you to be prepared for that role?
If you could change anything about this job, what would it be?
What bureaucracies/redundancies/inefficiencies do you see here, and do you have ideas for improvements?
What would you like to see less of or more of from me as your manager?
If you were in charge of staff meetings, how would you organize and run them?
How’s morale in this department?
What ideas do you have for improving morale?
What “wins,” extra efforts, kindnesses, etc. have you seen exhibited by your peers? Who do you want to “tell on” in terms of positive behaviors?
What’s your impression of upper management’s strengths and weaknesses?
Do you have feedback for upper management? (Confidential, of course!)
What resources and tools could help you perform your job better?
Do you feel over-worked, under-worked, or just right?
How are things going between our department and that other department, and what ideas do you have for improving things?
Does pineapple belong on pizza, or is that just wrong?
If you want to learn more about running one-on-one meetings with your employees, check out episode 13 of the Managing with Mind & Heart Podcast, where we share more helpful tips and strategies for making the most of them.
Now, go forth and have great one-on-one meetings!