AKPENE TORKU SIMS
Q. If you could have one gigantic billboard with anything on it, what would it say and why?
"You are ridiculously in charge of what you allow in your life." In teaching people about boundaries, one of the most profound things is that we have a lot of agency on how we allow the chaos and the crazy to affect our life, family, mental health, etc. When learning who we are and what we want to say "yes" to, saying "no" feels easier and more purposeful!
Q. What is an unusual or absurd thing you love?
Peanut butter. I have a lot of food sensitivities, and I've been able to lay down gluten and corn like a champ, dairy was a little harder, but I know that I'll be okay. 6 weeks without peanut butter, and I feel my soul dying within me. I usually eat big spoonfuls of the nectar from the gods, and even though it's only a limited time, I'm not okay. I have a list of recipes to celebrate peanut butter's rightful return to my list of allowed foods. Don't judge me.
Q. What book (or books) have you gifted the most, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?
Boundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud is one of my favorites, and I recommend that one a lot to my clients. It's not only good for establishing good workplace boundaries, but has some excellent leadership management principles in there.
7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey. This has been excellent in helping me frame my habits, and really good for people trying to tame the chaos in their lives. My favorite part is about moving from dependence to independence to interdependence. I love the fact that being highly effective happens in a community, and with collaboration!
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen. It's a great study of people in their wide array of personalities, and she was simply a good writer.
Q. What advice would you give a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?
In a past life, I was a preschool teacher and found myself saying things that absolutely applied to everyday problems we as adults face. I wrote a post about it, but here is the gist:
Share - Work and play goes smoother that way: we can work together and create something beautiful
Say please and thank you: When we are grateful and cast off the sense of entitlement, we learn to appreciate what we have and treat them with respect, both possessions and people
Look forward if you're walking forward: Life is full of distractions, but if you have a goal and want to move forward, then that is where your eyes should go
After lunch, change your pants and take a nap: We need a break. When we keep pushing and pushing, our productivity actually decreases. Take Mr. Gumpygills for a short swim, and everything will look different when you get back
When you hurt someone, say you're sorry and give them a hug: There are a number of terms for this, but the long and short of it is to take responsibility for your actions and do something about it
Don't throw stones: emotional, mental, and verbal stones are just as bad as physical ones. In your personal frustration, don't throw any type of stones